Dear reader,
Do you often find yourself in a rut, where life is too hard and any aspirations you might have are met with a debilitating feeling that it's too far, too hard and too difficult to achieve, if not impossible?
Do you often get angry and frustrated at how your parents/teachers/boss/society in general seem to have always fucked you over and basically ruined your whole life?
Do you feel like complaining about boomers or opposing political faction or certain races and genders are all that's wrong with this world and "Why don't they just understand how much harm they're doing to everyone, including me!?"
Then you are suffering from a condition known as "comfortable boyhood".
The rite of passage is an ancient practice where men are considered to still be boys until they've been put through some type of ritual hardship. It is interesting to note that women don't have to do anything to become women, they just are, while men need to DO something, to TAKE ACTION in order to become men.
It is an ancient practice that can be found in the vast majority of the cultures on earth in various forms. Some of these cultures expect women to go through it as well, though it's always an easier type of challenge, since women benefit from more feminine traits if they stick with the safety and comfort of their female family members.
This rite may imply any number of activities, from being left alone to fend for yourself in the wild (native american tribes), to jumping over a row of bulls, while wearing mud all over your body (African tribes). There are also present day rituals that we usually overlook, like being "broken" by the army or the rituals one might invent for getting accepted into a fraternity.
This applies to all genders, races and any other social groupings. Men are the most impacted by this condition but no matter who you are, you can also profit from rising above it.
So how did I come across it and how did it benefit me?
I'll never forget. 1st of August 2021. I decided to go to my parents and admit my failures to them. They didn't care much but then my dad made an offer that broke my safety. The sky came crushing down for me and I was in full panic for two days straight. It was the most beneficial and impactful moment of my life.
He offered me a certain responsibility that I couldn't walk away from. I needed to wake up and take a hold of the situation immediately , or else ...
You gotta wonder, how come the boomer generation had all this drive and energy to achieve so much? Where was it all coming from and why is it so hard and painful for me to get out of bed in the morning? For me it was like doing push-ups with a 1 tone anvil on my back, to get myself to start "living". Where did a boomer's life force come from?
Part of the answer is that perhaps they had more love and acceptance from grandparents, extended family members and other kids on the block, growing up, but even more importantly, you gotta realize that every boomer got kind-of forced into getting married. Probably because of an unexpected pregnancy. That was common in those times. For both members of that couple, the prospect of a child is such a wake-up call. "I can't do whatever I want anymore, I gotta take care of this child!"
And if it wasn't a child, it was poverty, getting kicked out of the house, being sent to work at the local shop or worse, the factory. Even being sent abroad to study was such a huge shock.
You hit the ground, and reality is hard and painful. But it's ok!
After my 2 day panic wore off, my world expanded, I felt much more able to affect it and reinvigorated with purpose. Long term goals were now achievable, and I was even able to see the steps towards it, clearly. I took control of the situation, I was responsible and able.
Before this moment I didn't realize it but I was surrounded by a proverbial wall of darkness, being imprisoned and suffocated by fear, too afraid of what's outside it. As it usually is with fear, the outside world is sunny and beautiful. However, this fear fence was so thick and powerful, I needed a hard hitting push to propel me out of it.
I used to lose myself with procrastination, having no purpose.
Now I would hate to waste my precious time doing anything other than things to further my long term goal. I'm fully invested and passionate about it. It truly makes my life worth while to commit myself to it. Oh, it feels so good!
If you find yourself lying in bed, moping about how you don't want to get up and dealing with painful feelings, a long term goal is what you need.
"But it's so hard!"
Nah, nah, nah, trust me on this, it'll make living your life worth while.
So, if you find that you want to access this "super power" for yourself, but you're afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone. Sorry, living in life is not for you, feel free to go back to procrastinating.
There's no pretty way of saying it. You gotta get hit by the real world with real consequences. You can't really arrange this in a controlled way, you gotta step out of the comfort zone. So far out, you don't have a safety net.
What you need to experience is consequences.
Not the type of consequences your mother talks about when she's planing to punish you! Those aren't real. I mean real consequences.
Gravity is real, if you jump you're going to fall;
If you think the land lord should just let you live in that apartment without any payment, you're going to feel the bite of cold night's breeze on your back tonight;
If you think you can keep living off your girlfriend, you're going to deal with being abandoned and moving back with your parents;
If you think that insulting thugs or police-men while they should just take it without retaliating is a proper unfolding of events, you're going to find out what the concrete tastes like, while your rib-cage will be in cold, hard, real, down-to-Earth PAIN.
The sort of pain that wakes you up to how physics work in this universe.
And learning the physics in this universe means learning the rules of the game. But that's all you need to beat the game and be the master of it!
You see, you don't need to be complaining about things not working out for you anymore, because now that the rules of the game are obvious, you can start playing to win. It would even be attractive for you to start doing so! It's like finding out that spacebar makes your avatar jump, you'll want to jump around on everything you couldn't get onto before! Of course you would, it's a new found freedom and you're not afraid to try things anymore either.
And for that matter, why were you afraid of "pressing the spacebar to see what happens" in the first place?
Well ... it's your mom's fault.
All parents, once they get a kid, their paranoia levels jump up to 100. They cuddle and keep you as safe as possible even past your teenage years. Moms are the most guilty of this, while a dad's job is just that, to take you out and show you the world! But we all know how passive and fucking done with life all dads are nowadays. They're certainly not doing their "proxy guide to Earth" job for their kids!
And mothers are too controlling. Simply said. They don't let you get too cold, walk in the wrong neighborhoods, have low grades, go spend time with that one schoolmate who's parents she hates because of opposing political views, or even going outside when she's not watching! And to make matters worse, after you've given up on all your ideas and aspirations, she comes around and complains that you're too lazy and you'll never amount to anything in life.
All that criticism and control makes us want to quit life. Sadly we also fully believed our parents that the world is as harsh as they say and the prison they forced you in is your only safe-zone.
Do with that information as you will.
So fin the motivation in you to leave the safety. I'm not saying go and do drugs or crimes, not at all. But go explore the world. It takes a lot of courage and a little bit of curiosity. "Can I do it? Will I pull through?" Of course you will, 10 million years of evolution has prepared you for much more than just the comfy chair at your desk.
You are physically, mentally and emotionally able to take on the world. What's not ready for the world is your fears, they'll collapse and dissolve into nothingness for ever.
Good luck and go face your worst fears!
